Plump up the oomph!

​I was just reading this article on the success of Ayushmann Khurrana's latest outing 'Dum Laga Ke Haisha' with newcomer Bhumi Pednekar. And to say the least, I was thrilled! For the first time in years, Bollywood has whole-heartedly accepted a plus size heroine! I was sure this movie is going to hit the bull's eye when I saw the trailer sometime back.

 

We Indian women have been practically killing ourselves to fit in with the norms set in by the west…although a size zero doesn't feature anywhere on our DNA! Youngsters starve themselves and go to endless fitness routines to gyms that are simply milking the opportunity! Actually, it's not about fitness anymore. Or maybe fitness has translated to 'thinness' somewhere along the way. As in, if you're thin, you're fit.  It doesn't matter if you look malnourished and your bones show like you haven't had a square meal in 10 days! You're thin, you're fit, and you're beautiful.

 

According to our very judgemental Indian society, fat people are wrong at several levels, you see. They have no fear of what society will say ("Hauu! She's so fat! Looks like a cow!")….they will surely be suffering from obesity related diseases ("Look at her!!! So fat! I'm sure she has diabetes/cholesterol/oedema/hyperthyroidism/malaria/cancer/something that will kill her soon")…. they can't even walk fast…..they can't wear any attractive clothes…..they will look like a tragedy next to their spouse, that is if ever they do find one, which is again a very bleak chance as nobody wants to date/marry a fat person!

Well you know what?

DUH!

From time immemorial, Indian women have been depicted to be epitomes of feminine beauty…curvaceous, voluptuous, full-bodied women. I wonder when the notion of looking like an elf began to look attractive. Look at our ancient sculptures. Do they look malnourished? No. Do they look size zero? No. Did they have any dearth of men? Not at all….at least if the Khajuraho sculptures are anything to go by! :P *wink*wink*

 

There is nothing 'wrong' in being curvy. I am curvy, yes. And till date, I have never once felt uncomfortable in carrying myself. True there are some of these photographs that are clicked at the most inappropriate times from the most unsuitable angles that make me wonder if I look bigger than the state of Madhya Pradesh! :P But otherwise, I think I'm okay. Very okay, in fact! :D

  

I'm glad the outlook of Indian cinema towards the idea of feminine beauty is slowly changing. More women with oodles of oomph are gracing the screen. Actresses like Vidya Balan, Huma Qureishi, Konkona Sen-Sharma have all broken the stereotype  and carved a niche for themselves in an industry otherwise ruled by women who look as though they would break like a twig any minute.

I agree it isn't healthy to look/be enormous ( The 'We're sorry ma'am! But the airline seats just won't fit your frame!' kinda enormous, y'know). But being a little plump is actually pretty and quite attractive. A friend once told me, 'A woman should have enough flesh in the right places. I wouldn't really dig the idea of hugging my girl and my hands reaching all the way up to my biceps!' LOL :D

On a closing note, watch this amazing video that speaks a thousand words.

Here's to us…here's to womanhood! Woohoo! \m/

BF...'F'?? :-|

Friends and friendships have always been an integral part of my life. Some friendships I cherished...some I longed for...and some I have lost. Today, out of the blue and for no rhyme or reason, I was pulled backwards to my past. To the days when 'friends' meant everything in life. There was no joy or sorrow without them in it. There was nothing that wasn't shared with those strangers who had become an integral part of the center of our very existence!

I was a person who struck friendships very easily and real quick...without the gender divide. People collected stamps and coins...I collected friends :) And I was extremely proud of it too! I don't think I'd say the same way about school friendships as I would about the friendships that happened at college. There are some friendships that have stood the test of time, they say. Friendships that never wavered from pre-nursery days until after marriage and kids even! It never did happen to me, though :-/

Life changed in a BIG way for me when I left the safe haven of my home and was all on my own when I went to attend my graduate program. New environment...strange faces...no Mom to run to :-( I knew I had to face it. I still remember the tense moments before knowing who were to be my hostel room-mates for the year ahead. How would they be? Would they be able to live with me? Would I be able to live with them? I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown! My hostel days deserve a blog-post dedicated to them alone. Some other day :) 

But friendships happened. Beautiful ones. Seemingly meaningful ones. I thought that I'd found the true meaning of living now! Everyday was so much fun that I used to wish we had more than 24 hours in a day :) We woke up together, used to go down to the mess to get coffee together, used to take bath in adjacent cubicles chattering all the while, went to college together, sat together in class, laughed together, got into trouble together and listened to music together...sharing earphones! :) :) 

Back then, life was all about having identical jewelry, liking the same chocolate, midnight birthday parties, sharing nail polishes, keeping a look-out for each others' crushes, trying to figure out the definition of the 'perfect man', taking all the pain to get group photos clicked professionally and then framing or laminating them for posterity, having endless sessions of 'Did you hear the latest...?', making promises of being this way forever...and then eyes welling up at the thought of the promises getting broken. Life was all about each other. Friends were synonymous with life itself. Never did I, for one, think that it would turn out otherwise.

Many years have passed since the day that we all promised eternal allegiance to each other. Life has happened to all of us....and life has bombed some of us too! We all moved on...holding on to some fragments of our past...and sadly forgetting most of it in the process. Conversations that ran into hours have now trickled down to an occasional and curt exchange of pleasantries. many are happy to have it that way. "At least we're in touch and know where each other are!" is is usual response.

Memories of fun times shared have now become the harbingers of long sighs and the usual expression of 'good ol' times!' When asked, people seldom own up to having changed. 'Oh come on now, I haven't changed! I'm still the same. Just that I got a little busy. Juggling kids and work is crazy really!' Truth is...people have grown up and grown apart as well. New friendships (at work and otherwise) slowly take up the place of old ones. Nobody can be blamed in this inadvertent process. Most happen as a result of 'out of sight,out of mind'.  Thanks to social networking, people do keep in touch with the ones they were really close to. Putting phrases like 'keep in touch with' and 'really close' in one sentence with a 'were' in between is in itself a sad fact. But priorities change with time. And I have come to accept that.

Reunions have become the 'in' thing these days. Events that were conducted like once in 15 or 20 years have now become a yearly thing...which is good,no doubt. At least you get to see the metamorphosis in process rather than seeing total strangers in place of the people you thought you knew so well! There is very little one can do to salvage withering bonds, especially in today's fast-paced world. People have literally 'no time' for anything but to run their own races, lest they get trampled upon and left behind. When entire relationships get pushed to the back seat in the mad craze to succeed, what chance do young friendships stand?

Personally, I have attempted to reconnect with people I used to love unconditionally not so very long ago. And more often than not, I have been surprised by the people they have become. As much as I want to tell myself that I am wrong, I can't help but feel that if these people had been the same way years ago, when I first met them, the chance of a friendship itself would have been doubtful. I have often asked myself ,'What happened to her/him? Why and how did she/he change so much? Did I do something wrong?'...though I know the answer. The mind and the child in me refuses to accept the reality. 'I don't want to lose them...we meant so much to each other...I don't want things to change...Please!' - this goes on and on inside me. 

If any of the beautiful people I once loved has taken the pain to actually read through this post, please know that I still love you as much as I once did. The change in you is painful. I understand perfectly well that I will never know fully what caused you to turn into the person you have become today. Somebody once truly quoted that 'you never truly know someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes'.  But please know this that I did not strike a friendship with you for the heck of it. I wanted us to be forever. I considered you to be somebody truly special. I still do. I hope you realize this someday. Some people do NOT change with time, my dears. I will keep waiting for you.

:')

In search of the perfect tablet!

I don't remember when it was that I first heard of the 'Tablet'. I guess I literally grew up hearing words like tonics and tablets and capsules ... thanks to my dad who has majored in pharmacy.

Over the past couple of years though, the word 'tablet' has come to belong more to today's tech geeks rather than the original world of medicine. I still remember my jaw-dropping moment when I saw the iPad (or was it when I first heard of it? Not too sure...) for the first time. I was like 'A laptop without a keyboard? :-o And u can actually carry it around?? OMG!' :D he he! I guess it goes without saying that I fell in love with it at first sight. Apple Inc. launched the iPad in 2010 and I am still not done ogling at it rather shamelessly at shops, kiosks, on YouTube, in peoples' hands, wherever! Nowadays, even waiters at restaurants take down orders on their iPads! *face palm*

I have always wanted one for myself. But by the time I finally decided 'That's it! I can't do without it anymore!', there were more than a dozen different companies offering 'tablets'. You have Androids and iPads and e-book readers and whatnot to choose from! I was confused... I still am! And I was advised to ask myself what I want/expect from a tablet. To be honest, I hate that conversation I have with myself. Me and myself have been through such discussions many a time and we never reach a consensus. A typical one-to-one conversation would look like this ;

What would you use a tablet for? Stupid question! I would use it for everything. Well......almost everything. And this being a family blog, let's not get into what I wouldn't use it for. Ahem! :P

Then define 'everything'. Everything would comprise of reading, listening to music, browsing the net, watching movies, playing games... and so much more! :)

Aren't you already doing all this? You have a decently well-equipped library of some of the world's best-sellers and Booker Prize winning books. You listen to music 24 x 7 on your mobile playlist. You need WiFi to browse the net. Duh! You almost never watch movies even on your laptop. Movies have always been family times. And the idea of an entire family watching a movie on a hand-held device is kinda weird. Who're you kidding? Duh again! Playing games?? Did you just say 'GAMES'? Do you play anything beyond dress-up games and spider solitaire? Admit it, woman! You just want to fit-in! Just to show-off! Get a life! -_-

x-(

You see what I mean? It's pointless trying to reason with my conscience. I guess the main point of attraction for me was the facility to read ebooks. I have hundreds of them and sadly haven't read most of them as reading them on my laptop would mean straining my eyes. An Amazon Kindle was (and still is) a very good option. I'm not really looking for browsing the net on a tablet. I like the laptop experience better...especially with my one fantabulous babe of a laptop :P She makes every website seem like the world's best! :D ha ha! But then a little birdie told me that I'd have to purchase books from Amazon if I want to read them on the Kindle. And I don't want to do that. Dude, I already have all the books I'd need for a lifetime! I just need a simple device to read them on. How about the other fellows then? Like say, the Nook? I dunno.

The problem is that the reading habit in general is dwindling at a rather alarming rate. And those who do read as before (bless them!) are pretty much old school when it comes to their favorite book. Nothing but a 'propah' paperback works for them. So it is pretty much pointless asking the bookworms about what they think is the best gadget. Hmm! The next option would be to ask the opinion of the geeks who think that it's pointless spending time on 'reading' when so much more can be done with a tablet! Or a tablet phone...or a tablet PC...or a tablet whatever! o.O That leaves me with the rest of them who are just happy that they have some gadget small enough to be able to pop into their bags and that they can use to read something on their way to work. Let's look at some typical answers to a recent opinion poll I did on my Facebook and elsewhere...

Opinion # 1 - 'Go for the Amazon Kindle...that's the best by far...at least going by the popularity charts...I'm using one and it works perfect...PDF? Oh I don't know about that...I get my books from Amazon'

Opinion # 2 - 'Why would you want to buy just an e-book reader? For that money, you might as well go for a proper tab that reads e-books and does a bevy of other functions too! I'd suggest the Samsung Galaxy tab or the Apple iPad.'

Opinion # 3 - 'Buying recycled and second-hand books off the street is much cheaper. What if the bloody thing just drops down when you doze off and it breaks? Nothing happens to a book if it slips from your hand!'

:-/

And so here I am...still on square one. Still confused...yet still wanting that e-book reader or tablet (that has been evading me for years) just as much as I did when I first heard of it. If ever I decide on one, which I don't think is going to happen anytime in the near future, I will definitely scream from the roof-tops that I finally have one of my own! :D

But as of now, it's status quo...Ho-hum! :-/

Year End Post:The summits and trenches of 2012 :-)

So the world didn't end on December 21, 2012 and here I am writing out my 'Year End Post' as usual! Every year I look forward to this time of the year when I get to do a quick flash-back on the year that was and relive the smiles and tears all over again in fast-forward mode. And usually, my regular 'Year End post' would be ready as soon as the last week of December set in. But this time around, the last two weeks of the year has been one of extreme sadness and mental turmoil. And I hope in earnest that such a year-end be a lifetime last. I hate to end things on a sad note. Some things are not under our discretion, though. All that can be done is to just hope for the best.

It would, however, be unfair if I said that the past year has just been sorrowful through and through. I did have my 'moments' too. Without any further ado, let's have a quick run-down,yeah?

Up in the clouds :)

1. Visited Varanasi after 30 years! It was an experience that deserves a blog entry dedicated to it. Loved every moment! :)
2. Shed a few pesky kilos that were just refusing to go away from me :)
3. Gave my first major presentation at work and got well-appreciated :)
4. Fell in love with Munnar all over again! :)
5. Got my very first anarkali salwar :P Was staying away from it for so long but a designer one was hard to resist :)
6. Got my very own personal camera for the first time! Yayy! :)
7. People I'd given up for lost came back into my life and many old friendships were rekindled :)
8. Had two major wardrobe additions - pencil heels and peep-toes! Woohoo! :)
9. Decided to start doing something creative...umm....well...at least I've decided to do it! :P :)
10. Blogging and some more blogging and a whole lot of appreciation! :)

Down in the dumps :(

1. Delhi rape case. Enough said. :(
2. Many old friends faded into the background of life in spite of my best efforts to keep them in view :(
3. The monsoons were a damp squib this time around :(
4. Lost a pet cat :(
5. The iPad never happened to me this year either :(
6. Missed the Doha International Book Fair this time too :(
7. Missed so many weddings of cousins and friends :(
8. Realized that I'm NEVER going to get that 'OM' tattoo done :(
9. The saga of being continually misunderstood continues :(
10. Some old wounds were cruelly reopened by insensitive individuals :(

Phew! That was tough. It's only when I started listing it out that I realized that I've had more prominent lows than highs last year. :( The list of 'highs' were actually more difficult to populate than the 'lows'. But then, I'm a firm believer in karma and in destiny. Whatever happened to me was for my good, whatever is happening to me is also for my good, and whatever is going to happen to me is for my good as well. Jeez! I almost forgot!! How could I be so rude? I'm running out of basic manners! :D Okay...I just want to thank all of my dear readers who painstakingly read through my blog posts and care enough to comment on them and send me notes of appreciation and criticism as well. My blog would not have been what it is today if it were not for all of you. Each one of my readers is special to me and it is your consistent encouragement that eggs me to go on and on. I do admit that I may have been politically incorrect in some of my blog-posts or even a tad biased towards my own point of view. But honestly...I have never meant to offend any sentiments nor hurt anybody. If have done so inadvertently, please do understand that it was truly unintentional and I am sorry too.

So that's that! I am stepping into the new year with renewed hope and dreams of a better tomorrow. Here's hoping that the coming year brings in a lot of happiness to my home and yours. May the Almighty bless your lives with every possible blessing. And may you have the power to spread the happiness and positive energy to everyone around you! :)

Wishing everybody a really Happy New Year!

Cheers and God Bless! :)

Better safe than happy?

The other day I was reading a book (I'm deliberately leaving out the name of the book coz I don't want people thinking that the subject of the book just might have influenced my thought process) and came across a line wherein the central character realizes that all her life, she has chosen to be safe than happy. I put down my book and thought about it. And sadly realized that I too have opted for something similar. Like many others.

To make sure my thoughts aren't prejudiced based on my own experiences, I posted this as a question to my Facebook friends. The results I got were a myriad of emotions hidden in a few intelligent comments. Most preferred to remain silent on the matter. Their answers were evident. Silence often speaks volumes, you see :)

I quote one of my own Facebook comments on the subject here:

People often opt for safety rather than happiness....Safety could be anything.....'emotional/psychological safety' (by being in a stable relationship even if there is no passion left in it), 'financial/occupational safety' (by holding onto a job just coz u're getting a regular paycheck even though it sucks the life out of you), 'physical safety' (by being around somebody who is physically stronger than you even though they are a pain to be around), 'social safety' (by adhering to seemingly senseless rules laid down by 'society' just coz you know you will be shunned if you dare disobey even though you don't personally approve of them), 'religious/spiritual safety' (by blindly following rules laid down aeons ago even if you don't understand WHY they were laid down and what sense it makes to be following them today), and even 'educational safety' (by joining for a course you loathe just coz it promises a 'safe' career option 3 or 4 years down the line)..............and such people seek 'happiness' in 'safety'.......while they know in the deepest areas of their conscience that THIS is not what they have truly wanted.....THIS is not being 'happy' in their personal dictionary....NO.

They hear of somebody else doing something they have always wanted to do and sigh....and within moments of their sojourn,they set about finding the negative sides of that person....in a way that they want to appease their own conscience that 'It's okay....you're not missing anything....if you'd done that,you'd have had a similar mess in your life too....you are happy now....you are happy now....you are HAPPY NOW!' 

Just coz u repeat something you want to believe to be true.....that doesn't make it the truth. :)

I thought about all the things and situations wherein I would have been truly happy. To be honest, I had a good laugh that ended in a sad sigh. They say it's good to dream. I think now I know why. In your dream world, everything is perfect...just the way you want it to be. Happiness everywhere...not a shred of sorrow or anger anywhere...no ropes that tie you down...a world where you can spread out your wings and fly with nobody to tell you that flying is sinful!

People who have chosen happiness over safety have often found themselves as social outcasts though. I recall my teenage now...a time when I used to express some of my dreams...I remember that my dreams and wishes used to get people unsettled a bit :) And then they'd chide me for trying to go 'against the flow' or by saying that I didn't drop down from outer space to harbor thoughts way beyond my cultural,social,financial,physical,etc. restrictions. I didn't quite understand things back then, to be honest. But now I reckon they said so because all they wanted me to have is a safe life. Forget about pursuing just happiness. She'll find happiness when she's safe. Different lines of thought. That's all. 

On my Facebook post, a couple of friends had asked me ' How can one be happy if one is not safe?'... This is the result of years of mental honing. The question makes perfect sense when you think about it within your own boundaries. But if you let your thoughts to escape those mental barbed wire fences, you'll see the answer for yourself. Happiness need not always mean safety (for definitions of safety in this context, scroll up)

Nevertheless,I do understand that to lead a 'normal' life, the majority of us have had to trade our happiness for safety. nothing wrong in that. Just pondering over our patterned lives.....that's all :)

Peace out!

On condolences and RIP messages...

Celebrities are born everyday. And they also die someday. Plain fact. Duh!

What surprises me is the sudden outflow of intense emotion when a 'celebrity' passes away...predominantly from people who would not have even thought about the deceased person for over more than a few years at least. I mean to say that the deceased person would have probably been ailing and off the social scene for a while....at least for long enough not to be in peoples' active memory. It is understandable if your celebrity idol passes away and you mourn for him/her. But then when a world personality passes away and when people over react on social networking sites and behave as if their dearest uncle has just died, it sure is funny. And totally unbelievable. Okay so if you respect the deceased person for whatever reason, an obligatory 'RIP' should more than suffice. What's with posting messages like "OMG! I can't believe it!!!! :'( XYZ is no more!!! :'( I will miss you so much!!! " What the.....? o_O It's totally beyond my comprehension!

I remember sitting shell-shocked when Whitney Houston passed away. I admit I haven't heard all of her songs but her song 'When you Believe feat. Mariah Carey' from 'Prince of Egypt' has always been one of my favorite songs.

But the day Houston passed away, my Twitter and Facebook looked like her funeral book no less! :-/ Almost all the people I knew were suddenly crying buckets for her! :-o By golly,I didn't know she had so many fans! Being very honest here! :-/ Nobody used to talk about her or share her videos or do anything of the sort for as long as I'd been on Facebook. So this sudden out-pour of extreme sadness somehow felt hugely unreal. Ditto for many celebrities who died before her and after her.

Seeing such public displays of distress, I wonder how such people deal with a personal loss. Strangely,none of that is shared with the world. One rarely gets to see an update like "OMG! I lost my dad/mom/uncle/aunt/grandparent today. I'm going to miss him/her so much! :'( " See,stuff like this is believable...though not advisable (one does not update one's status on Facebook when the funeral service is going on...duh!again) And friends would come in from all sides to support the person at his/her time of grief. But showing similar reactions at the loss of a public figure is (somehow) weirdly funny. It sort of takes away the feel of the real thing.

I still feel that feelings of loss and separation are private emotions. Advertisement of the same is just being fake and trying to fit in with the the crowd. "Just because everybody else is doing it, I might as well do it too!" is so not the right attitude. 

Just my perspective.

Write?? Right!

I have been attempting to write a book for the past six years now. I remember the first time the idea struck me. I had a story…and I was sure it is a 'best-seller' in the making! Initially, I used to 'pen' it down…there was no issue of random thoughts. The words flowed freely and without interruption. It was on very rare occasions that I had to add in a word or a line somewhere on the previous pages. Like I said, the storyline was pretty much solid.

Days, weeks, and months were passing by uneventfully. I was working full-time and was able to devote lesser and lesser time to my writing. To be honest, a lot of things were also going on in my life that was changing my personality permanently. When I flipped through the pages I had written earlier, I found no sense in all those innocent child-like thoughts. I had been hit by the harsh realities of life and decided that my earlier writings were too childish to be even remotely believable. Criss-crossed words and struck out sentences made my manuscript look like a mess no less. A few of my friends enquired regularly about the progress of my book. And I'd tell them that it's still on but moving sluggishly. At one point, I even tried to type it out on a computer. But then I found that even the initial story wasn't making sense to me and I was changing the story itself!

 

Six years on, today when I look at my original manuscript, I don't know what to feel. Was it really my childish innocence that poured out onto scores of pages? Or have I grown up now? Have I grown up so much that there are no more traces of innocence within me now? The naivety in those words is painful to see now. I still wonder how people write books. They have to have a sound mind that remains where it is all through the creation of the book…or they have to be abnormally fast in their typing/writing.

I still don't know what to do with my dusty manuscript. Maybe I will complete it someday. Someday…when I am more at peace with myself.

Someday…