Kit-Kat Fudge!

Hey there all you beautiful people! Hope everyone is in the best of spirits. First things first, though. Here's wishing all my fellow Indians a very Happy Republic Day! :-D

Today, I thought I'll share with you one of my favourite recipes. I call it Kit-Kat® Fudge (for the simple reason that it tastes uncannily like Kit-Kat®), though technically speaking it's nothing but simple home-made Chocolate FudgeJ. It is very easy to prepare and is one of the few desserts that I confidently make! :-P he he!

Ingredients

1.       1 bar of cooking chocolate (it's your choice if you want to use White chocolate or Milk chocolate or Dark Chocolate; I made it with Milk Chocolate)

2.       1 small pack of any glucose/milk biscuits

3.       1 tin condensed milk

4.       Margarine or a piece of butter for coating the tray

Directions

1.       Empty the contents of the biscuit packet into a small vessel and break the biscuits into small pieces. Try not to powder it. Rough crushing will do just fine.

2.       Coat a stainless steel plate/tray with either margarine or a piece of butter (my personal choice is butter) and set aside.

3.       Melt the chocolate in a non-stick pan. Stir the chocolate while it melts (you don't want any burning happening)

4.       After the chocolate has fully melted and once you are sure that there are no lumps left, empty the tin of condensed milk into the vessel and mix well.

5.       Now add the crushed biscuits and keep stirring.

6.       Remove from the fire and immediately pour the mix into the prepared plate/tray and spread it out to your desired thickness using a spoon or wooden spatula.

7.       Allow it to cool and then refrigerate it.

8.       The fudge hardens on refrigeration and can be cut into your desired shape.

9.       Can be served as it is or with a topping of your choice like a sprinkling of powdered sugar.

Try it out and let me know how it came out.

Bon Appétit! J

Scents,Sensibility & Sensitivity :-)

It may sound queer to many…but some scents do have mood-changing properties. At least for me, there are many such. There are times when I am hit by the blues and almost nothing works to cheer me up. Then suddenly this intoxicating aroma wafts by and I find myself smiling or at least snapping out of my sombre mood in an instant. Not all people will have the same sensitivity towards certain smells. I guess it's all a matter of personal choice at the end of the day :) 

The one that tops my list is that of FRESHLY WET EARTH…the smell you get after the first rains have just drenched your courtyard. I absolutely love everything about the rains. The redolence it creates when it falls on the parched earth, the pitter-patter on the roof, the rain curtains formed by water flowing down from the slanted tile roofs :) …but it's the scent of wet earth that's the best of all. A harbinger of the coming monsoon months ahead :)

On a close second position is my addiction-since-birth, CHOCOLATE! I shudder to think of a life without chocolate :/ Chocolates were a childhood craze and the craze has persisted even till this day. Dark chocolates are my favourite. I have no other choice of flavour in anything…be it ice creams or milk shakes or cakes. It's chocolates all the way! :)

Okay, so we've all seen those snazzy advertisements about AXE DEODORANTS and like most people, I'd thought they were exaggerating it a bit too much. What were they claiming? That men would turn into walking-talking women magnets once they spray it on? Bah! But now, I beg to differ M' Lord! The well-marketed deodorant does indeed have some inexplicably attractive perfume/s that does play smartly on the female odour sensitivity. I love the tangy and musk laced ones best. The Axe Effect, indeed! :)

Ah! The smell of BOOKS!!!! How I love it! I remember I used to flip the pages of new textbooks between my fingers and bring my nose real close to it to take in the smell of novelty! Old and well read books have a different kind of aroma. They have this dusty smell that vouches much for their popularity and/or age. I don't know for sure how many times I would have fallen asleep with a book on my face :) Books are a simple bare necessity for me and their smell is one I love. Did I mention that a library is one of my favourite places to spend time in? 

BREAD!! Who doesn't love the smell of a loaf of bread getting baked in a bakery? The bread term was a generalisation of all the smells associated with a bakery that includes baking cakes or cookies or bread or even making some of our very own Indian breads like rotis and chapattis. I love the smell of warm and fresh bread anytime. A dab of home-made butter and some thick raspberry jam and there! You're ready for the experience of sheer indulgence! :)

Thomas More once said "Plants that wake when others sleep. Timid jasmine buds that keep their fragrance to themselves all day, but when the sunlight dies away let the delicious secret out to every breeze that roams about." He couldn't have been more precise. JASMINE FLOWERS are, in my opinion, one of the most criminally intoxicating fragrances that ever existed. A whiff of this magical aroma and one is transported to another world altogether. It comes as no surprise that jasmine flowers have long been associated with marriage and courtship (and even with…umm, female ghosts :/ ).

I'd like to call it the fragrance of happiness. HENNA / MEHNDI. The ancient Asian tattooing method is an essential part of any auspicious occasion primarily in South Asian and Middle Eastern cultures. Brides have henna nights in their honour when hands of the bride-to-be and of her family are adorned with intricate designs of henna. Henna is symbolic of happiness and the entire room is filled with its aroma. Being and avid henna enthusiast myself, I can't help but love the smell of it. I find myself smiling for no reason :) 

SCENTED CANDLES are a relatively new addition to the romantic fragrances brigade. Until around ten years ago, it wasn't very commonplace to see scented candles except in high-end lifestyle shops. It was verily considered to be a high-class luxury. But today, you could just pick them off shelves in department stores. Most of them are aesthetically designed and add a whole new meaning to the good old 'candle-light dinner'. My personal favourite- Lavender! :) 

And last, but not the least, I can't help but love the smell of FRESH LAUNDRY, especially, if they've been rinsed with some fabric softener like Downy® or Comfort®. They smell just WOW! Sometimes I hold them up to my nose and breathe deeply. The fabric softeners come in such sweet fragrances too. And nothing beats the feeling of wearing a pair of sweet-smelling and freshly laundered pyjamas at bedtime :) 

Les Amicales ou Les Misérables!

Isn't it strange yet so commonplace how we become upset and distraught over the slightest mishap…and yet fail to see happiness in anything other than the overtly obvious? I do not claim to be any different when it comes to feeling grouchy and forlorn when things don't exactly happen the way I want it to happen. Even the very simplest of drawbacks is enough for me to pull a long face…much to the chagrin of many around me. To shake that feeling off is much easier said than done for me. It takes a long time for me to get back to my cheerful self.

I wonder if the case were similar for everyone in case of happiness too. Like say, we were to take every instance of happiness, even if it were only for a moment, as a blessing and revel in its glory for a while. What a happy place this world would have been! I reckon it's all a matter of mindsets.

Earlier, I was a staunch believer that people are born in a certain way and they remain so forever. There were the perpetually happy people (the kind I identified myself with), the naturally sad ones, the 'always-with-a-scowl' people and some people who were just plain frustrated with everything and everyone! I believed that there's just no changing them. It just won't work. And even if they did appear to have 'changed' for whatever reasons, they'd put up a poor show! Duh!

Today, I believe I am in a position to be more judgemental on this subject…having seen more of the world and having come across a wider variety of people from all walks of life. Irrelevant of their genes or family history, I feel that people turn out to be what they are because of their thoughts…and depending on the way they look at life itself. There is an ancient Tamil proverb that translates into something like this: There is nothing called bare hands; bare hands have ten fingers and they are your biggest treasure. That's what I call some serious positive attitude!

Happiness and sorrow, and their intensity, depends to a large degree on how YOU want to look at it. I may be interrupted here with the question of eternal loss. One may ask, 'What bigger sorrow exists than the loss of a loved one? Are we to smile in the face of bereavement?' It is indeed true that smiling in the face of such adversity is not according to human nature. Anyone who does so is looked down upon with contempt. That is not what I meant. But trying to look at if from an angle totally different from the one the rest of the world is looking at from can bring about a sense of tranquillity within our own troubled self. It is in instances like these that I resort to being a child at heart…and try to believe very strongly that the departed soul has finally become a star in the sky and that I can see him/her everyday :') The calming effect these thoughts have on my mind cannot be explained, really. This is just one instance…albeit one of the most difficult ones, where positive thinking can help us a long way.

I am a born dreamer…and I find a lot of pleasure in the beauty of the subtler aspects of life…simple things that people so sadly fail to notice. They know it's there…but never halt to take more notice or acknowledge its beauty of existence. Women, typically, may stop at a shop window and stare longingly at a diamond necklace or at a beautiful dress or a pair of attractive footwear. 'Well, that's what women always do, don't they?' ask the men. Let's make the context a little more general then, for the benefit of both sexes. Say you're on a round trip of Europe. You're standing in front of the Swiss Alps for the first time in your life. Will you start posing for the camera or clicking photographs in frenzy or will you just drink in the beauty of the moment? Will you notice the little yellow butterfly that fluttered by? Or the tiny solitary bloom on the side of the hedge? Or even the freshness of the air? Most won't. 'We didn't come to Europe to stare at a butterfly', you'd argue. It's not WHAT you notice that matters. What matters is enjoying the moment. Your mind's one storage device that is a tad too difficult to corrupt with viruses…if you know what I mean. J You may lose data on external storage devices. But what you store in your mind will stay with you (let's leave out the unlikely possibility of us getting Alzheimer's at some pointL) forever.

I try to find happiness in smaller things and I try not to limit it to material things…like when a dish I tried out comes out well, or when I'm the first one to reach office J or when I see a flock of birds taking flight when my favourite song is played on the radio (total filmy style J). I have often been asked by people how I manage to be so irritatingly optimistic. I guess it's largely because of the way I look at life. You never know what's in store for you in the next instant. So live every moment as if it were your last. 50 years later, when you look back on the path you've treaded, you'll be sure to find a whole lot of smiley faces scattered all around the path! J

Stay happy! And keep a look out for that little yellow butterfly! ;-)

100 weird questions...100 steps closer to knowing me! :-)

1 - First Name?

Raakhee

2 - Pseudo(s)?
Raaks, Rocky, Chi, Ammu, 'Venugopaali' :-D

3 - Girl or boy?
Girl till I die….I have no choice L Wanted to be a guy…still do…keeping fingers crossed for my next birth (if ever there is one!)

4 - Towns? (Birthplace and living town)
Born in happening Ernakulum (Kerala, India), bred in the exotic Middle East, studied in Study-centric Coimbatore (Tamil Nadu) and currently living in Doha-Qatar

5 - Size?
Shoe size-41(!!)…other sizes are indecent enough to be excused:-P

6 - Age?
Flirty 30! Woo hoo! :-D

7 - Colour of hair?
I'd like to call it deep brown…sad that I can't call it something snazzy like 'chestnut brown' or 'ebony black' L

8 - Colour of the eyes?
Same as hair…deep brown. And no, I don't wear spectacles.

9 - Employment / current occupation?
Working as Procurement Engineer with the Qatari Govt.:-D

10- Astrological and Chinese sign:
I'm a true-blue Saggi and a Monkey-Girl who's verily living up to her name:-P

11 - I like/love?

Music, Reading, Computers, Garfield, Tamil actor Surya and my eye-liner! :-D

12 - I don't like/hate?
Slimy veggies (read lady's fingers etc.), body odor, spelling mistakes, possessiveness, criticism (yeah, yeah! I know I shouldn't despise criticism…but I can't help it) and child abortion of any genre (feticide, infanticide, etc.)

13 - If you can meet one person of your choice, dead or alive, known or not, who would this be?
My grandfather J Never seen him…

14 - What do you like to do, generally, during the weekend???
Hmm….just chill out. Maybe snuggle up in a cozy sofa with a good read and something to munch on. Listen to some of my favorite music. But these days, I just spend time with my family. It's the only time in the week when we're really together.

15 - The town/country that you want to visit or even live in?
Wanted to visit Paris since ages but I don't think I'll like living there. India's the best place to settle down for me. Mumbai has always been the first choice but I guess it'll be somewhere down south finally:-/

16 - The first thing you do when you come back from school or work?
Change into something comfy, freshen up and then grab something to eat. I often wonder how the heck I'm able to keep my hunger under my thumb all day long! :-S

17 - Style of music or radio that you prefer?
It's Buddha Bar and Enigma all the way for me. But I guess my choice of music varies according to my mood. Like I listen to a lot of Backstreet Boys (:-D *faints*), The Corrs, Indian classical music, Jagjit Singh, and even some Retro Bollywood.

18 - The most beautiful song, which exists for you?
That's a toughie…. I give a lot of importance to the lyrics of a song and so there are so many to list. So I'll single out a few 'makes-me-go-weak-in-the-knees' songs…

1.      'Neelathamare…' – Neelathamara (Malayalam) (2009)

2.      'Picha Vecha Naal…' – Puthiya Mugham (Malayalam) (2009)

3.      'What makes you different…' - OST 'Princess Diaries' – Backstreet Boys

4.      'Ondraa rendaa…' – Kaakha Kaakha (Tamil) (2003)

5.      'Puthu vellai mazhai…' – Roja (Tamil) (1992)

6.      'Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein…' – Kabhi Kabhie (Hindi) (1976)

           

19 - The singer or band that you prefer?
BandàBackstreet Boys!!! I'm a 100% fan of theirs since 1996! :-D

Singerà T. K. Karthik, Shaan

20 - The reality TV shows that you prefer?
I like Oprah though I don't get to see it much lately. Besides that, I like 'Khana Khazana' and 'Nach Baliye'

21 - The advertising that you prefer?
The cheeky kind ;-) The kind that doesn't really strike the average viewer at first glance and then the message kind of dawns on you and you go 'Ohhhhh! Wow!'

22 - Are you single?
Yup :) 

23 - If no, are you happy?

N/A

24 - If yes, are you happy?

Very much....thank you very much!

25 - Have you ever known an unhappy love affair?

Yup…plenty of them. But I'd be sued if I were to list them out here ;-)

26 - How many Harlequins' collection (books) do you have?
None…I hate those! I've read a couple and I consider the time spent for it as wasted.

27 - Have you ever read "NOUS DEUX" (to make the bond with England, "Nous deux" is a tabloid)?
Nope :-/

28 - The magazine that you never miss?
I used to love 'M.A.D'… haven't been able to get my hands on one since a long time now. Besides that, I like Readers Digest and National Geographic Magazine. The photographs in it are mind-blowing!

29 - Your bedside book?
I usually keep the book I'm currently reading on my bedside table. Right now it's 'Water Music' by T. C. Boyle.

30 - The novel of which you would have liked to be the author?
'Five-Point Someone' by Chetan Bhagat. Our writing styles match J

31 - Your society game (or console) favourite?

N/A

32 - The dish, which you prefer?
I love junk food though I stay off it most of the time. My preference is always junk food but family (read Mom) restrictions limit me to more traditional sit-down meals. North Indian food is my favorite J

33 - What do you buy when you go to the fair when you are hungry?
Maybe waffles with strawberry or maple sauce topping! Or maybe a Cinnzeo® Chocó roll:-D

34 - Drink preferred?
Coca Cola with extra ice! Ooh! When I'm back home, it's the roadside vendor's lime juice that I prefer J

35 - Colour preferred?
Black

36 - Fetish number?
5 and 14

37 - The quotation, which you prefer?
'Cheer up…things could have been worse'

38 - Film counterpart, which you prefer?

Jyothika :-D

39 - Cult movies?
The Goonies (1985)…boy oh boy! Was I a fan or what??!

40 - Preferred series?
The Wonder Years, F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi ;-)

41 - Your more beautiful quality?
My resilience after a major downfall is what I consider as one of my biggest assets.

42 - Your worst defect?
I am way too trusting and painfully optimistic L

43 - Your worst nightmare?
Nightmares and I are old buddies. I have a new one almost every night:-P Most of them are about me getting drowned or falling off an edge:-S

44- The worst shame of your life?
:-S It's way too embarrassing to declare in print!

45 - The most beautiful thing, one made for you out of love?
All those cute hand-made cards my sister has gifted me on different occasions :')

46 - The thing of which you are proudest?
My command over the English language… I do realize that I am not the best, but I do know that I am way better than many I know. ;-)

47 - A fairy lends his magic wand to you for a wish: what wish do you make?
A world that knows no hatred J

48 - The first thing you do in the morning?
Get up (okay, that was a PJ!), put the cat out and then brush my teeth.

49 - What you think when you are not able to fall asleep in the evening?
'Now what did I eat/drink that's not letting me sleep? Onion? Pepsi?? Darn!'

50 - What will you bring with you on a desert island?? (5 max)?
My sister, some food for us, my mobile phone, a beach umbrella and a bed-sheet…reckon I'll turn the stranding into a picnic :-D

51 - If you have to buy a handbook to survive, that would be which?
Linda Goodman's 'Sun Signs' J

52 - Your bedroom take fire (or is flooded, it depends of the place), what do you rescue at first?
o_O Nooooooooooo!!!! There are too many important things in there to select just a few! :-S but I guess I'll rescue my University autograph book first J

53 - Quelle(s) peluche(s) partagent ton lit? (What cuddly toy/s shares your bed?)
My yellow teddy bear! (*grins sheepishly*)

54 - What do you have on the wall of your bedroom???
A picture of the Rasaleela, Lord Ganesha, Goddess Lakshmi and a couple of Mom's stained glass paintings. It's the inside of my cupboard door that's more happening ;-) I have a childhood picture of myself and one of my sister, Audrey Hepburn and an old pic of me and my classmates that we clicked when we went to Delhi in 2003 J

55 - Pets?
Yup…cats! And no, I'm not telling you how many I have! I'm superstitious and fear the evil eye K

56 - Do you get on well with your parents?
Yeah I do…98% of the time.

57 - With your brother and sister?
Sure we do…we're inseparable! J

58 - Which is the cartoon which you preferred as a child?
Tom & Jerry and Care Bears

59 - And now?
Tom & Jerry…it never will change, I guess ;-)

60 - Which is the job that you dreamed to have as a child?
Air hostess :-D

61 - Why the lady is big of her belly?
Well…:-/

62 - Tell us your more beautiful memory of childhood.
There are so many beautiful moments I spent with my sister but I guess one of the most beautiful ones of those was when one afternoon, we were playing and fell asleep on a haystack at dad's place. We woke up itching all over and rushed to the bathroom for a cold shower. J

63 - Were you already scandalmonger (to say evil of people behind their back)?
No, I don't think so. I believe in the saying 'One should never do that to another which one regards as injurious to one's own self'.

64 - You have the possibility of saying your four truths to the person whom you hate more in the world, which you would say to him?

I'd tell him/her why I hate him/her and that I hope in earnest that our paths never cross once again in this lifetime or the many lifetimes that follow.

65 - The 'insult' which you say more?
'Bloody Bugger!'

66 - The word or expression, which too often returns in your language?
'Oh…ok' J

67- Do you speak any other language than English?
Yeah I do… my mother tongue Malayalam, Tamil, Hindi and a bit of Arabic too ;-)

68 - Have you already gone in a foreign country?
Lived outside India all my life K

69 - The area (or the place) of England, which you do prefer?
Never been to England…but I'd like to visit Ireland someday.

70 - You have the possibility of making the farm celebrity, would you do it? So yes which activity would prefer you to make?
Is this a 'Farmville' question? If yes, then Farmville and I are far faaaar away :-D

71 - If one day you become hyper famous, in which field would you be?
Maybe as a writer? :-D

72 - What you would you buy if you won the lottery?

I'd buy an Infiniti 4WD for Dad, a new house for Mom, and a 32GB I-Phone4G for my sister J

73 - Where and how do you see yourself in 2011? In 2040?
In 2011, I will (in all probability) be still here in Doha, working and with my family. In 2040, I'll be settled in India and enjoying a retired life, travelling and enjoying my leisure time.

74 – If it is possible for you to use a "Stargate", where would you go?
Maybe to some other galaxy from where I will not be able to return:-D

75 - The Earth is destroyed. You have time to flee, where you go?
If the 'stargate' is still available, I'd use it. Otherwise, I'd go to the moon (unless it's already over crowded already)

76 - The Earth will be destroyed. You do not have time to flee. Which is the last thing, which you do?
Pray that all those stories I heard in my childhood of mythical characters coming to save the good people be true…and then hug my family for the last time L

77 - How many children do you want?
Three…if possible. Otherwise, definitely two J

78 - What would you call them?
That's a secret ;-)

79 – What should they resemble you?
They should have my eyes and my permanently happy disposition J

80 - If you can change a part of your body, which one do you choose?
My nose! L I hate my nose!

81 - You dye hair yourself. Which color do you choose?
I've always wanted to dye it with streaks of mahogany or deep violet…

82 - If you can have a tattoo, what will it be?? And where??
Maybe I would have a tiny \ tattooed onto my wrist J

83 - Are you beginning, intermediary or expert when it comes to acts of Internet?
Somewhere between intermediate and expert :-D

84 - What is there on your mouse mat?
I don't have one…rather, I don't use one.

85 - Which is your bottom of screen on your ordi?
On my what…? :-/

86 - What can we find under your bed (with share the breeding of sheep) ?
My shoes and all the stuff I tend to hit and push down from my bedside table while I clumsily plop my novel before I turn out the lights :-D

87 - How many times a week do you come on Internet? How many hours?
Everyday! At work, I'm on it all the while (almost!) and at home, maybe for a hour or two at the most.

88 - What do you think about the breedings virtual on Internet? (Like kochonland, dadavalley,...) ? Are you registering?
What are those…?

89 - What was your resolution on the new year?
To practice being more laid-back and to blog regularly.

90 - Do you do it?
The first one, it's taking time getting used to it. Blogging…yes! J

91 - The best gift that somebody offers to you?
When they acknowledge that I have made them happy in some way J

92 - The worst gift that somebody offers to you?
A goodbye L

93 - Somebody offer to you a house. You choose an igloo, an Indian tipi, an African box, the same house as your parents, a farm?
I'd choose the same house as my parents J

94. Kilos to be taken?
He he! Again, the figure is too indecent to be declared in public and in print!

96 - The best teacher do you have?
My Mom and my experiences…the two best teachers ever.

97 - The worst teacher do you have?
Some from high school x-(

98 - Dedication this questionnaire with somebody?
I don't think many would have had the patience to sit and read through. I'd dedicate it to the people who actually did. It shows a lot about what you feel about me and how much worth you have given to my thoughts and to what I have to say…a genuine interest in knowing me J

99 - What do you think of this questionnaire?
It's fine…but very time consuming. But it was fun J

100 - Which message of advice you would give?

Nothing is permanent but change… understand this and if not anything else, you would definitely have lesser number of depressing days.


Raakhee

Year End Post:The summits and trenches of 2010 :-)

Hello all! Hope the esteemed intelligentsia of Blogosphere are having a fine day (and hope you'll make the most of what's left of it)! J

So…we're like at the fag end of 2010. 2010 is all weary and tired and almost done with its packing to leave…leaving us with memories of the days past, of things we learnt to do (and not to do...K), of the happy and sad (and Kodak™) moments we had. J  The whole world is in a feisty mood. Party preparations and invites and greetings are being sent out. Hearts and minds are filled with hope and aspirations for the coming year.  And I am no exception in this matter.

When I look back at the year that has passed, what I see is a potpourri. Like everyone else, I have had my own fair share of highs and lows. So, this post possibly being the last post of 2010 from me, I decided to have a re-run through 2010 and find out 10 things what I really liked about it J and what I didn't L.

Up in the Clouds!

1.   Got back to the blogging scene after a rather indecent hiatus. Like my little friend back home in India added in his New Year's wish, I hope in earnest that my 'den' doesn't 'accumulate moss any more' J

2.   Saw my University buddies in Chennai after a whopping 7 years! And we had a wonderful time together reliving all those lovely memories. Thank you guys for making it happen! Love you to bits! J

3.   Shed a few kilos:-D (yayyy!) though I had to (quite unwillingly) stay away from savouries and sweetmeats for a while. It was tough, no doubt…but definitely worth the effort J

4.   Got a new office and a whole lot of new responsibilities. Feeling suddenly all-important, y' know! J

5.   Saw 'Eclipse' online on Day 4 after its official premiere…a feat in itself as it had not come out in the theatres here in Doha. And by the time everybody had started ranting (panting, rather :-P) about the Cullen-Swan-Black saga, I was already done with my share of it. J

6.   Enjoyed the monsoons in India…and even managed to get drenched once J

7.   Visited Tirupati after like what? 19 years??? Got almost mauled by the crowd and emerged with quite a few black 'n' blue spots but the fraction of a second that we got darshan was just beautiful J

8.   Didn't break a single fingernail all year long! J

9.   After all the years of getting insulted at shoe shops for having feet like Big Foot, I got at least 7 to 8 pairs of snazzy footwear from Bangalore and elsewhere. J 'Boo' (sticks out tongue) to the stupid shops who said I have feet that are too big for my own good! Humph!

10. My New Year greetings were a huge hit and people made it a point to reply to my email and tell me that the idea was wonderful! Thank you, all! Y'all were worth it! Mwaah! xoxo J

Down in the Dumps!

1.   Way too many deaths…in the family and out of it. And each time it caused an emotional upheaval of sorts. Didn't like it. Period. L

2.   Couldn't make the High School Reunion thing happen. Had high hopes for it. But nuffink happened L

3.   Realised that buying an Apple I-Phone™ is just not for me. I might as well look around for some Nokia™ model L

4.   Also realised that a Sony™ Vaio® is precisely NOT the laptop that I will be buying for myself L

5.   Lost a kitten L She was snatched away from us by a $%^&^%%^%^&*&%^%$% male cat that lives nearby. He mercilessly killed it in a fight! Bloody *&*^%%$%&*^&^$%$#^%$!!! L

6.   Couldn't attend a training program that I so badly wanted to L

7.   Realised that no matter how hard I try, I'm never going to be able to weigh the same as I did during my University days L

8.   Learnt several lessons (in a rather hard way) that I should step-up my practice of the simple skill of 'SHUT UP', and when and where to use it L

9.   Got told off many a time for 'not behaving your age' L

10. Couldn't see Mohanlal in person. L He was supposed to come to a family wedding of mine that I was very much a part of. But he didn't turn up. L Darn!

So here's looking forward to the New Year with renewed hope and a whole lot of dreamsJ. Like the lyrics of the Tamil song goes 'if you see a hundred dreams, won't at least six of them come true?' J So, here's wishing all my dear friends and fellow bloggers a very happy New Year's Eve, a happening 'Stroke of Midnight', a fabulous New Year's Day and an absolutely wonderful year ahead! May the year 2011 be way better than any year you've had so far! J

Happiness always!

Take care, stay safe and God bless!

See y'all next year!

Ciao! xoxoxo J

On the concept of early marriages in older societies...food for thought!

It was a common practice in days of yore to marry off a girl when she was quite young. This practice has, more or less, come to a stop, though we do get to see quite a bit of it in certain rural parts of the world. The reasons why people opted for such a system are many. Firstly, to get rid of the 'burden' called the daughter. The presence of a girl in the family is always a cause for worry and tension. She is always susceptible to attack from heartless men and parents always have to be on their guard as long as she is with them.  As she advances towards adolescence, fears aggravate and the prime concern of the parents turns to handling over her responsibility to a stronger man who will be able to protect her. Maybe that was why very young girls were often married off to men almost twice their age! It was just a case of escapism on the part of the parents.

Secondly, if a girl was married off at an early age, she was very less likely to have any idea of a married life and even have any kind of expectation about her partner. She is as raw as wet clay. At this stage, she is easy to mould as per the whims and fancies of her husband. She would not have an opinion of her own. It was not commonplace in earlier times for women to venture out of their homes, unless for some social function like a wedding or so. So their world was confined to the four walls of their little home and their husband. Whatever the husband uttered was the rule of the world and she would not budge from it no matter of what happened. Such was the advantage of marrying a child. She grew up in the home of her husband and the man saw to it that he held absolute power over her…something like a parent has over a child. Do we not feel that whatever rules laid down by our elders are to be followed? (We may or not may not follow it ourselves….that is a personal issue) Nevertheless, we do realise that they are rules and those are the way things are supposed to be. Domestic rifts were very less in those days because the women had no opinions of their own. They blindly sided their husbands.

There was also the advantage of spending more childbearing years with the husband. Thus, in a society where womanhood was judged on the number of children borne, having as many children as possible was highly desirable. Families with twelve and fifteen children were quite common. More number of children was desired because in those days there were very few hospitals that tended to maternity cases. Most of the childbirths happened at home. There were no advanced medical facilities and everything was one big risk. Even the life of the child had no guarantee. Sometimes children died at birth. Some died a few days later. And some even after a couple of years. Though a woman may have given birth to twelve or fifteen children in her life, it was highly unlikely that all of them would have survived beyond the age of five. Usually, nine or ten made it through and they helped the family to grow in strength and riches.

A girl used to be imparted with the very basic education that is necessary to understand the daily needs of a household…a little of mathematics, a substantial amount of Sanskrit so that she may be able to understand the scriptures and a little of science. This went on until she came of marriageable age…, which used to like around ten or eleven. She was simultaneously given training in the household chores as well. So, by the time she was married, the child is adept in cooking, cleaning, etc. Of course, the more affluent families had maids accompanying the child to her in-laws' house. They were part of the bridal retinue. However, ordinary families had no such system. In this process, the children lost their childhood. A feeling that the purpose of their birth was to be the wife of someone was instilled into them from the day they are born. Emotional attachment to parents and siblings often died down after marriage.

But look at the changed world around us now. Though it is still widely said that 'it's a man's world' and women are often referred to as 'the weaker sex', one cannot overlook the fact that women have emerged as a powerful force. Today, they hold respectable positions in the armed forces, in large organisations, in renowned hospitals, everywhere. The prime reason for this is education. Marriage has easily become a secondary option in life. They do not consider the institution of marriage to be the sheer purpose of their birth as they did in earlier times. The marriageable age for a girl has moved up from ten or eleven to twenty five now. No educated man in his right senses would want to marry a child of eleven today. With rising inflation and for want of higher standards of living, every educated man would want his life-partner to be another shoulder to bear the family burden. She has moved down from being part of the burden to be one of the bearers of the burden. However, the beauty of the situation is that women are still given preferences everywhere. 'Ladies first' is something we hear repeatedly. In a case of eve teasing, the words of the woman are blindly trusted. Buses still have separate sections for women passengers (though this has changed in some metropolitan cities). It is a changing world out there.

We will all just have to wait and see how far it goes…

Nair society...about me and mine! :-)

Nair Society

Nairs…one of the most mysterious and intriguing sections of Keralite society. Though they may seem to be very simple folk, their history is not one that can be written off as being a very simple one. This little write-up attempts to peek into that very history.

The origin of Nairs is a subject of great dispute. Some say they are direct descendants of the Aryans who married into Dravidian families, accounting for their fairer skin colour. Some say that they are descendants of a warrior clan in Nepal. Others say that they are natives of south India who were awarded the title of Nair by the king. Let us start the story at the very beginning…from the birth of the beautiful land of Kerala.

Kerala wrenched from under the sea

Legend has it that settlers moved into the fertile Indian lands from the north. In the process, they pushed the native people southwards. The southern part of India became excessively crowded and reached a state when there was practically no place to stay. A few families rushed to Lord Parashurama and narrated to him their woes. He agreed to help and went with them to south India.

He saw that the land was indeed very crowded and prayed to Lord Varuna (the God of the sea) to give up some land from under the sea. The arrogant Varuna flatly denied and raged even more ferociously. Lord Parashurama, known for his quick temper, is said to have thrown his axe into the sea and pulled up a huge chunk of land. Thus Kerala was born. The people were very happy and moved in to the new land that Parashurama blessed them with and Parashurama went back to his abode.

Sometime later, the people came back wailing to Parashurama yet again. They complained that the land given to them was infested with snakes and had poisoned yellow soil and no crops would grow on it. Even the rivers were heavily poisoned and their cattle died in hundreds everyday. Parashurama decided to pay a visit to Vasuki, the king of snakes.

Vasuki welcomed him to his underworld kingdom with all due honour. Once seated, Parashurama asked him the reason why his subjects taunted the poor people who lived on the new land. Vasuki replied quite calmly that the piece of land that Parashurama had ploughed out was a piece of his kingdom and that it was the home of his subjects. How could he, being a righteous ruler, ask them to move out of their homes?

After a long discussion, they reached a mutual decision. Parashurama told Vasuki that if he ordered his subjects to remove the poison from the land, he would see to it that he and his subjects were always revered and provided for by the people of the land. Should they fail to do so, Vasuki was free to order his subjects to punish them. However, they should leave the land alone. This proposition was acceptable to Vasuki and orders were immediately given to remove all poison from the land.

When Parashurama went back, he called forth the heads of sixty-five aristocratic families, imparted to them the ritualistic methods of doing Naga puja, and ordered them to have a shrine for the Nagas in each of their homes. This was duly done and all poison was withdrawn from the land. Kerala became one of the most fertile areas in the world. Crops thrived and people became very wealthy.

The sixty-five families that Parashurama chose are the sixty-five aristocratic Nair families of today…the so-called Kiriyath Nairs. Such snake shrines can be seen in the family homes of these Nairs even today. And the rituals are still performed with all respect. Every temple in Kerala will have a shrine dedicated to the snakes. This is tradition. But the reason for this tradition is what is narrated above.

These shrines are kept as natural as possible. They are usually circular bunds made of stone beneath an oak tree. None of the wilderness is ever cleared, save for the treading path. This is to ensure that the snakes feel at home in their natural surroundings. These shrines are usually located a little away from the house so that there is very little disturbance to its slithering inhabitants. A lamp is religiously lit at twilight every evening. Some families even have the custom of offering a saucer of milk everyday, though it has been proved by reptile specialists that snakes cannot drink milk. The traditions are still held on to very strongly.

That was the story of how strongly bonded the Nair society is with the very existence of the land of Kerala.

Nairs-The fearless warriors

Nairs were famed far and wide for their valour and hot tempers. They occupied the highest positions in the king's army. The traditional martial art form of Kerala, the Kalaripayattu, was an art taught solely to Nairs. No other sub division of society were permitted to learn it. The Kalaris, or practice grounds, were never in open areas for public view. They were always closed enclosures either within the teacher's home or in a specially made basement with sanded floors. Women were also given training in Kalaripayattu up to a certain level. Unlike other sections of society, Nairs were and still primarily are a matriarchal society. Women are the family heads. The reason for this difference will be discussed in the next section. Besides Kalaripayattu, the Thiruvathira Kali, a slow and graceful dance form of Kerala, was only allowed to be performed by the Nair women. The festival of Thiruvathira was celebrated almost solely by them. On this day, believed to be the day of the birth of Lord Shiva, Nair women prepared special dishes, refrained from eating rice, tattooed their hands with henna, chewed on betel leaves and played on swings. It was entirely their festival. It is said that married women celebrated this festival for the long life of their husbands and unmarried girls did so to  be blessed with a husband as glorious as Lord Shiva.

Occupations

As mentioned earlier, the Nairs were a warrior clan and almost 90% of them joined the king's army. The other 10% remained as merchants or ministers. There was no other occupation open to them. They all had huge expanses of land under farming but they just remained as overlords. Their vassals who belonged to the lower sections of society did the actual farming.

These vassals were practically owned by the families. They worked with them for generations and were paid in kind. They were an extremely loyal lot and would even give up their lives for their master. They received their daily food from their masters' houses. If they were in need of any help, like say marrying off their daughter, the master's family took care of all expenses and married off the girl. It was a comfortable arrangement. Things changed when communism came into the picture.

Nair women

This segment should form one of the most interesting reads of the entire article. If one has ever been to a Nair wedding, he would certainly notice how relatively short the wedding is and the obvious absence of a priest. In all other sections of society and around the world, in general, a marriage is not solemnised without the presence of a priest. It is not so amongst Nairs.

The life of a Nair warrior was always at the feet of the king. They were something like the Samurai warriors of Japan. they never returned from a battle defeated. Either they took lives or gave up theirs. There was practically no guarantee for the life of a Nair warrior. But the clan must go on. So they just had to marry.

Marriages in those days was an awfully simple affair. On a pre-fixed auspicious day, the groom would come to the house of the bride, present her with a new cloth (kodi/pudava) which was usually a pair of the two piece garment worn by Nair women, and take her away to his home. This was the entire marriage! The inclusion of tying a sacred thread around the neck of the bride is a relatively recent development. All other rituals seen in modern day marriages are due to influences from surrounding states. The girl was brought back to her home on the third day after the wedding and the groom went back to his home immediately. Thereafter, the groom would visit her whenever he pleased but his permanent residence was always at his maternal home. The children born out of this relationship were given the family name of their mother.

Nair men almost never stayed faithful to their wives. They were known to be extremely handsome men. They would have mistresses in and around their hometown and even in distant lands where they went to battle. Women also seldom stayed on the better side of the moral divide. The long absences of their husbands facilitated this. This fact is further strengthened by looking a little closer at the architecture of ancient Nair family homes.

Almost all houses had bedrooms with two doors-one that opened into the house and the other that opened to the outside. It is said that the latter were used by both men and women of the house to let in their secret lovers. So, the concept of a child belonging to the father's family was immaterial. Because, shameful though it may be, the fiery Nair women often slept with more than one man. And being the fearless daughter of a warrior herself, she did not consider it necessary to discuss the fatherhood of her child with the world.

So the children were given the maternal family name. They had practically no ties with their father or his family. They belonged to their mother's family. In their father's family, they were outsiders. All these infidelity issues changed gradually with the onset of social policing. But the tradition of family name still remains the same. Today, a Nair child may have his father's name as his surname. But when he is asked for his family name, it is his mother's family name that belongs to him and not his father's.

Nairs and property

The property of a Nair man was never inherited by his children. It was distributed amongst the children of his sisters. This distribution was also not equal. The major share of the property was given to the females of the house. The men inherited only a small share.

The family home usually went to the eldest daughter, though in later and more recent times, that is given to the youngest son. The heirloom jewellery, which were usually passed down from generation to generation, was equally distributed amongst the women. None of it went to the men.

The one really good thing about this system was that the women who inherited precious things like ancient furniture and jewellery would have been seeing it from their childhood and knew how much they were worth and what they meant to the family. Quite unlike the viewpoint of a woman who has married into the family. No matter how hard the family tries, she would never really understand the true worth of the family's most prized possessions.

The men did get rights over some furniture, though the best of those too went to the women. This property divide remained strong until the Hindu Property Act was brought about in the early 70s.

Nairs in the 21^st century

A lot has changed since those days. Today's Nairs are a lot less like their flamboyant ancestors. And many of them do not even wish to be reminded of the lifestyle their predecessors led, for fear of being socially shunned. But I feel that there is nothing to be ashamed of in recollecting the life of your ancestors. They lived a life that suited their lifestyle and era. We have no reason to lead a life like that today. But we must never forget the way we came nor our glorious past. What remain today are mere remnants of the valorous society that was. For instance…

·         The system of giving the maternal family name to children

·         The absence of a priest in a wedding

·         The custom of bringing back the bride on the third day after marriage

·         The never dying community spirit

·         The permanent urge to succeed in every endeavour

·         The desperation that surfaces in the unlikely event of a failure

Long live the Nair race! Long live Nagavamsam!

P.S.: Much of what I have written are things I have grown up hearing from my family elders. I come from an ancient Nair family that hails from Tripunithura in Ernakulam district of Kerala but traces its origins to Aazhvanchery in Northern Malabar. The customs and systems I have explained may/may not be true for families in the Travancore area of Kerala.