The age-old Cochin-Travancore feud!

This was something I have grown up hearing about, though I was never sure whether to believe the stories or not. Hailing from Tripunithura, which was the capital city of the erstwhile Kingdom of Cochin, I have been raised never to trust anybody from 'down-south', as they put it :-) Today, as I was reading up on an old article about Kathakali, I was surprised by what I found. Copy-pasting an excerpt of the write-up,with all respects to the author.

It is interesting to note that back then, there were clear dividing lines between north and south Kerala! "The Cochinites do not take kindly to the Travancoreans. There is an age-old feud between these two parts of Kerala. The Cochin folk are cleverer than their neighbours, and therefore more cunning; but the Travancoreans are a more generous and brave people. Cochin women are famous for their beauty and the Travancorean men are jealous of this in their hearts of hearts!"  
"And this petty jealousy and provincial feeling colour subtly all that they say and do and extend themselves to the art of Kathakali. The Travancoreans think that their presentation of this art is the best and the most classical; the Cochin dancers do not even bother to listen to such foolish claims!" This, thus, was the level of and approach to dance writing in that era.  
"There is no doubt whatsoever that Kathakali as practised and presented in Cochin is purer in form, richer in abhinaya and more elaborate in technique. These differences do exist and it is observed by competent critics." 

Source: http://www.narthaki.com/info/tdhc/tdhc1.html

I couldn't help but smile. But it indeed is strange yet true that the age-old feud still lives on in every Cochinite's and Travancorean's mind. Whether they say so openly or not depends on their personal choice, though.I used to wonder...why are they being branded like this? It's like,"Is he/she from 'down-south'?Be careful with him/her!You never know when they will strike!" :-D

Do such geographical character divides exist elsewhere too?Is it based on the genetic make-up of the people in that area? But what about inter-territorial marriages and their off-springs?What with so many marriages happening without keeping the Cochin-Travancore divide in mind, isn't it about time that the characteristics got distributed a bit? It is said back home that if a person from Malabar/Cochin chooses to settle down in Travancore, with time, he/she begins to behave like a Travancorean too! Go figure! ;-)

Sound of Silence

Communication….a heavy word, indeed. And a most important one when it comes to any relationship. I wonder really as to how many relationships would have gone under the axe owing to miscommunication and/or lack of communication. Not all individuals are born with the natural gift to express themselves precisely in the way they intended to. Their words may come out raw and uncut, usually hurting the other person to such an extent that an argument/quarrel becomes inevitable.

After a couple of such instances, one or both individuals prefer to remain silent for fear of kick starting yet another row. From what I have heard from many couples and from a bit of personal experience, I can say that it's always healthy to speak your mind out rather than build up ideas within oneself. This is particularly helpful at the start of a relationship as that is when two individuals who are complete strangers decide to spend the rest of their lives together.

What one says might not necessarily be what the other comprehends and misunderstandings are bound to happen. Both people ought to decide to build a relationship in which neither of them is expected to deliver only sweet-talk. It may lead to several difficult situations in the beginning but it'll surely pave the way for a beautiful future ahead wherein, neither will even have to verbally say something for the other to understand what they are trying to tell them. They both learn to adjust and live according to the likes of the partner without themselves realizing it. That's the power of love…the power of the bond of trust

Then there are times when a partner is expected to behave in a certain way... "Hasn't he/she understood me?Do I have to tell him/her everything? Let him feel for himself and do it...why should I tell him/her?"...Usual trains of thought. But the couple do not realise that they have not grown up together to understand each other's likes and dislikes so distinctly. They are new to each other and need each other's help to know more about one another. "But this is only a normal thing for him/her to know...all the husbands/wives I know do like that without having to be told to!" First wrong step....NEVER COMPARE!You will only be met with disappointment. The human mind has a tendency to always look up to something that they do not possess...in the process,conveniently neglecting what they do possess. Not all people are alike. Along with a majority,there also exists a minority. And they are not aliens! It is possible that they possess characteristics that are unique to them. Appreciate them for they are and what they do...instead of chiding them for what they are not. There is always room for improvement...but constantly nagging them will only worsen things. Here comes communication again. Tell your partner what you expect of him/her.Unless you do (and unless he/she has mystic powers to read your mind) how would they know? There is no loss of dignity in saying what you want...and in particular to a person who is going to be with you for the rest of your life.

Just my thought!  J