Yesterday was World Health Day. I read an article today that read:...experts say sedentary lifestyles and growing psycho-social factors are affecting the health of India's elderly. It's so painfully true.
Any standard Indian elderly person has the regular set of worries - are my children settled, my health, my retirement plan. It's like these things form the crux of their existence. I guess it's the way society has programmed us to be. Parents live for their children...toiling day and night to better their futures...forgetting to live for themselves in the process. Any parent that does not perform this 'self-sacrifice' is looked down upon. It's sad. Because the 'children' will one day get their wings and fly away. The parents are left with just memories of days gone by...memories of their youth that they threw away for the sake of their family...and a whole lot of loneliness. Yes,in society, they are exemplary. But personally,they are left with not much to look back upon.
Loss of a spouse adds to the misery. Few find solace in technology...some in rekindling old hobbies...and most in just reminiscing and they pull themselves into their own shells. They are so used to the norm of being considered 'senior/elderly/old' by the time they hit their 60s. It's more of a psychological thing. It's like there is a set of unwritten rules that one has to/is expected to adhere to once you are on the wrong side of 50....be more spiritual,restrict make-up to the bare minimum, do not wear bright colours (read beige,grey,pastel shades....yawnnn!), do not travel alone, eat with caution (possibly it won't get digested...duh!)..... this is all so bad that it creates a mental block of sorts. Like they feel that they cannot be the way they were...."I am old now,dear....I don't think I can do it". Possibly these are the same things that these people expected their parents to be. And when they reached that age, the 'auto-programming' just started working! End result --> a whole generation of sedentary people getting sicker day-by-day seemingly awaiting their call from the Almighty! WTH! x-(
My mother works in an organisation brimming with elderly Westerners. It's almost amazing to hear the stories she narrates of the lifestyles they lead. Travelling tops their agenda. People well into the wrong side of 50 are going back to college. Many are getting married again! They travel extensively and to exotic locales every single time. For them, it's obvious that 40 is the new 20! They keep themselves engaged all the time...irrespective of age. It's really worth admiring....their zest for life...their never-say-never attitude. Yes, they are all well-bonded with their children, grandchildren,extended family,etc. But NOT at the cost of their own lives.Period. There lies the difference. Children are important. But if they have a right to enjoy their life, so do their parents. There is no rule-book that says that once children come into the picture, parents have to give up all their pleasures and concentrate on giving every possible pleasure to their kids.
It's all in the attitude. Parents are also humans....they too have a right to laugh,love and live...just like us. And they should be encouraged to live their life to the fullest every single day. It's when too much is expected of them that things go wrong. I have seen so many couples who bring one of their mothers over to where they work and live when the wife is expecting a baby or has just given birth. Although they say it's just to have the presence of an elder in the house to oversee the looking after of the baby as the wife is inexperienced, the real story is something else (at least most of the while!)....the couple is getting an unpaid house-help. I feel so bad when I see ageing mothers with a baby in their arms and lugging behind young couples on shopping trips. My logic: if you're 'experienced' enough to actually have a baby, looking after it is also your responsibility. Expecting your parents to baby-sit is nothing but laziness.
They too deserve to live a life...after all that they have done for us. Give them the freedom to live their life the way it pleases them. Remember that they tried to keep us happy with whatever they had and in whichever way they could. It's our turn now. Give them every possible happiness they yearn for...fulfil their every secret wish. Just make sure that they are NEVER deprived of that content smile. Trust me...they're worth it.
:)
There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. ~Chinese Proverb
