It was a common practice in days of yore to marry off a girl when she was quite young. This practice has, more or less, come to a stop, though we do get to see quite a bit of it in certain rural parts of the world. The reasons why people opted for such a system are many. Firstly, to get rid of the 'burden' called the daughter. The presence of a girl in the family is always a cause for worry and tension. She is always susceptible to attack from heartless men and parents always have to be on their guard as long as she is with them. As she advances towards adolescence, fears aggravate and the prime concern of the parents turns to handling over her responsibility to a stronger man who will be able to protect her. Maybe that was why very young girls were often married off to men almost twice their age! It was just a case of escapism on the part of the parents.
Secondly, if a girl was married off at an early age, she was very less likely to have any idea of a married life and even have any kind of expectation about her partner. She is as raw as wet clay. At this stage, she is easy to mould as per the whims and fancies of her husband. She would not have an opinion of her own. It was not commonplace in earlier times for women to venture out of their homes, unless for some social function like a wedding or so. So their world was confined to the four walls of their little home and their husband. Whatever the husband uttered was the rule of the world and she would not budge from it no matter of what happened. Such was the advantage of marrying a child. She grew up in the home of her husband and the man saw to it that he held absolute power over her…something like a parent has over a child. Do we not feel that whatever rules laid down by our elders are to be followed? (We may or not may not follow it ourselves….that is a personal issue) Nevertheless, we do realise that they are rules and those are the way things are supposed to be. Domestic rifts were very less in those days because the women had no opinions of their own. They blindly sided their husbands.
There was also the advantage of spending more childbearing years with the husband. Thus, in a society where womanhood was judged on the number of children borne, having as many children as possible was highly desirable. Families with twelve and fifteen children were quite common. More number of children was desired because in those days there were very few hospitals that tended to maternity cases. Most of the childbirths happened at home. There were no advanced medical facilities and everything was one big risk. Even the life of the child had no guarantee. Sometimes children died at birth. Some died a few days later. And some even after a couple of years. Though a woman may have given birth to twelve or fifteen children in her life, it was highly unlikely that all of them would have survived beyond the age of five. Usually, nine or ten made it through and they helped the family to grow in strength and riches.
A girl used to be imparted with the very basic education that is necessary to understand the daily needs of a household…a little of mathematics, a substantial amount of Sanskrit so that she may be able to understand the scriptures and a little of science. This went on until she came of marriageable age…, which used to like around ten or eleven. She was simultaneously given training in the household chores as well. So, by the time she was married, the child is adept in cooking, cleaning, etc. Of course, the more affluent families had maids accompanying the child to her in-laws' house. They were part of the bridal retinue. However, ordinary families had no such system. In this process, the children lost their childhood. A feeling that the purpose of their birth was to be the wife of someone was instilled into them from the day they are born. Emotional attachment to parents and siblings often died down after marriage.
But look at the changed world around us now. Though it is still widely said that 'it's a man's world' and women are often referred to as 'the weaker sex', one cannot overlook the fact that women have emerged as a powerful force. Today, they hold respectable positions in the armed forces, in large organisations, in renowned hospitals, everywhere. The prime reason for this is education. Marriage has easily become a secondary option in life. They do not consider the institution of marriage to be the sheer purpose of their birth as they did in earlier times. The marriageable age for a girl has moved up from ten or eleven to twenty five now. No educated man in his right senses would want to marry a child of eleven today. With rising inflation and for want of higher standards of living, every educated man would want his life-partner to be another shoulder to bear the family burden. She has moved down from being part of the burden to be one of the bearers of the burden. However, the beauty of the situation is that women are still given preferences everywhere. 'Ladies first' is something we hear repeatedly. In a case of eve teasing, the words of the woman are blindly trusted. Buses still have separate sections for women passengers (though this has changed in some metropolitan cities). It is a changing world out there.
We will all just have to wait and see how far it goes…
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